It is starting again, I can feel it.
It begins slowly. The things I need to accomplish swirl around in my head, faster and faster until they start slipping away. Because of this I become more diligent about writing out my tasks. My heart starts racing and I feel shortness of breath. I often compare it to drowning, because it increases in intensity as time passes making it difficult to breathe.
Nighttime is the worst because one of two things occur - insomnia or nightmares. Either way, I don’t sleep much. To ensure a decent night’s sleep, I find myself staying up hours past my normal bedtime. I wait until my sight is blurry and my mind has officially shut off until I dare fall into bed. Even now as I write this, I am avoiding sleep despite being exhausted. By doing this I will pass out once my head hits the pillow and I am ensured a sleep-filled, nightmare-free night’s rest.
At least until I wake in a fright at 5:00 AM.