My neighbor Sinthia takes care of me. She feeds me, monitors the times I come and go and calls me if she hasn’t seen or heard from me in more than two days. It is a wonder, at 31 years old, how I took care of myself before I met her.
I think these actions, in themselves, are silly. After all, I am a ‘grown-ass woman’ who has been living on my own for ten years. On the evenings I want to be left alone after a long day of work, I tersely answer the phone, “Yes, Sinthia?” “How are you,” she’ll ask, explaining that she didn’t see my car parked on the street the night before.
As much as I roll my eyes while explain I am fine, she is relentless . . . and I love that about her. I may not need to be taken care of, but I do appreciate being cared for. It is reassuring to know she is watching me so closely that she will know if something is wrong. She can detect the slightest nuance in my voice, expertly drawing out of me the root of my depression or frustration. “You know what? You don’t need that bullshit. Fuck them!” she’ll say and despite the colorful choice of words, I always feel encouraged.
This morning I renounced Satan and united myself to Christ as part of my role as godmother during an Orthodox Baptism service. Listening to the litanies, I held Baby Jane in my arms tightly; carefully watching Father Bill for any direction. The significance of this service made me very nervous. The spiritual growth and salvation of Jane is now my responsibility, shared with her parents. Of course Father John counseled, “How much can you do really, except lead by example?” But that alone is overwhelming. As Jane cooed and grabbed at Father Bill’s vestments during the anointment, I thought about the rest of my life. And the rest of Jane’s life. And that during one hour on a snowy Sunday morning our lives were intertwined forever.
On the drive home from the baptism, Sinthia called to tell me that she moved out of her condo today. She and Adam purchased a single-family home on the South Side and we knew this day was coming. We both avoided discussing it, hoping that ignoring it will this time actually make it go away. As our conversation drew to an end, she told me to drive safe and call her when I got home. I guess things may not be as different as I thought.
I want Jane to know how much I care for her. And I am not as good as Sinthia is about making my feelings obvious.