One of the things my dad has constantly reminded me of at various points throughout my life is the purpose of what I am doing. During high school I was preparing for college. Virtually every phone call in college ended with, “Just remember, you are there to study.” And in the real world? The reminder that I live my life for God and not for man, which includes my life at work.
I have been thinking a lot about this lately, as the morale at my company is very low. New policies that are poorly explained and seemingly pointless are being put into place. Company procedures are given greater priority than client needs. Promises of raises by October 1st went unkept and employees are referred to as percentages of capacity instead of people. Percentage that are determined without the input of the employees. (My collegue was shocked to learn accidentally that she was on the chopping block because she was only a registered 52% capacity. One of her clients was unaccounted for and she corrected the mistake, bringing her to an actual 102% capacity. There was not an intent to speak with her directly; instead she would have been fired or given additional responsibilities.)
My own frustration results from personal broken promises including a promotion due in December and hiring an Assistant AE around the same time. The thing of it is, I really like the people I work with. I find the work I do interesting enough to keep my attention and make me feel like I am learning and growing. I just wish it was easier to work there!
As he left, my collegue made the statement I used as the title of this entry. The group of us standing around affirmed the statement and scattered; gathering all our belongings and shutting down our computers. When ‘The Man’ gets you down, it is really hard to remember you aren’t working for him. The sleepless nights (last night included), the anxiety attacks, the late nights at the office, the random crying. For what?
I am positive I rolled my eyes each time my dad reminded me of my purpose. “Yes, Dad, I know!” But the simple fact is there is freedom in knowing there is more to your life than working for the man. Man will disappoint and it is easy to become frustrated or give up as a result. But God takes care of the faithful, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Maybe your patience or character or faith is strengthened in the end.
During this trial, I find myself retreating to my faith. I can’t say the Jesus Prayer enough during the day and I wear my cross more often that ever before. I bought the ring (referenced in a previous post) to wear daily and find myself spinning it during the day, thinking about what it says. “Lord Protect and Save Me.” Yes, please.
I didn’t know about all this latest frustration and nonsense. Looks like I will have to bump up those all-important god-mom prayers. I’ll break the seal on the section entitled “In case of emergency.”
Thank God for things that a person can really and rightfully believe in at times like this, eh? It’s not that it’s enough to make you spring out of bed in the morning (”I can’t WAIT to get out there and affirm a trinity-centered epistomology!!”), but it keeps you from feeling that things are hopeless and pointless.
And thank God for prayers that you say and even the ones you wear. (By the way, Greg liked that ring so much he bought me one. And when I wore it to church today a couple women wanted to know where to get them. See? You’re in advertising even when you’re not trying.)
Comment by Grace — February 4, 2007 @ 2:19 pm
It is actually more of the same frustration and nonsense. I think it is a good example of how if you feel appreciated and valued you can overlook certain things but when you don’t those things become more of an issue. I really appreciate your prayers.
I love that ring. I just think it is beautiful. I am glad Greg bought you one!
Comment by carrie — February 5, 2007 @ 6:53 pm